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Why I love making fun of so called Bloggers

As a lifestyle magazine writer – yes I hate to call myself blogger, I try to check bloggers community on a daily basis. Maybe I should say I used to…

Bloggers community, at least most of them are nothing but enriching because most of the interactions consist in likes hunt. Simple, flat likes hunts in which nobody tries to learn something.

Fashion, beauty, traval, whatever, just bloggers seem to care about one great thing on earth: themselves. They write, picture, share, like, dislike, tweet, retweet, repost, reshare for themselves.

If one, probably a newbye, tries to share an article, ask a question that covers an interesting topic, she/he may get three answers; but if you share the magig ‘Like for Like’ be ready to receive 20 notifications per minute on your Facebook.

As a matter of example the Facebook group Beauty Bloggers Bunch belong to these empty groups where they only share one single thing: links! Monday is Instagram celebration when Wednesday happens to be about Bloglovin.

Another way to grab the attention of bloggers without likes for likes. Tackles their gigantic ego. For example a little note about how narcissic and self centered bloggers can be will likely get you… banished.

What will not work? A smart question about an interesting topic, since only two topics are interesting for bloggers: themselves and likes or follows.

This articles target bloggers that define blogging as:
– talking about themselves
– writing about themselves
-posting about themselves
AND E-WHORING FOR LIKES.

Most blogs I have real lately left me the bitter taste of a real TV show with massive smileys, sms notes and lol at every corners. Here we go and explore the blogger pathalogy.

  • Attention Whoring

If only I had your self-confidence (or do we call this being pretentious and centered?) ! Beauty, lifestyle, fashion bloggers, all of  you have zero issues to pollute the (oh so wide world)web with pictures of yourself, celebration of yourself from head to toes. I particularly enjoy the article about your little (royal???) awakening. You, in bed with your cat drinking a cup of coffee. What a breaking highlight in my day. 1 hour later, I am happy to notice you took a shower and… how bold you get by offering us the #makeupfree picture. Thanks again. I am finally very excited to find out what foodies you’ll pick for lunch.

Follow then a great range of articles, the place changes never the subject, unfortunately.

‘My outfit at the parc’
‘My outfit at the Mal’
‘My outfit in the street’
My, my, my, my, me, me, me, me, I,I,I, me, myself and I!

  • Talk to my hand – we are all girly, pretty, dummy

Oh all this pretty smileys and lol to twist  your 60 characters posts. Most of the time, you rather invest time in answering comments that celebrate your awesomeness! You never forget to end your post with a lot of kisses for your fellow blogger friends.

'heyyyyyyy!!!!!! girls!!!! I send you a lot of fashionable kisses!! lol!!! and hugs!!!!! let's be fab' again XD XXSXX <3 :p

Followed of course with the comment of other bloggers like you

-'hey sweetie, you look so fabulous, as usual! beauty, beauty'
- thnk u i wish i could look as good as u lool lmao ^^^^

Oh you were the real gossip girl. I am flattered you gave me access to your Facebook page. Thanks blog-sistah!

All this to deliver a blog post which respect no grammatical rules. There is no poetry, no added value except when it comes to photoshop your great self.

  • Some bloggers do not write

Who needs to write when I look so awesome on pictures and daddy treated me with a brand new wardrobe! That’s a role of a blogger: being the stylist, the editor, the boss, the inspiration, the role model, the dreamed girlfriend, the best friend of the lambda lady. My motto is ‘Look at my life you’ll never look as cool as me.’

Then you have the kind who write but actually should not. The internet is a tidal wave of secret diaries which are not that secrete anymore. I need light on this: why do you think anyone is interested in reading random fact of your life?

  • The Blogger Community

The blogger community can be exhausting and overwhelming. Many bloggers, especially fashion bloggers see themselves as the reincarnation of Anna Wintour. Ok let me clarify it by defining your tasks and Dear Anna’s.

A blogger daily fun:

– You post 2 or 3 posts a days mostly consisting in photoshopped pictures of yourself. You review your content when you have time.
– You share your link on different social media
– Go on a like and following hunt
– Talk with your other blogger friends about how great you are

A day as Editor in Chief of the most prestigious fashion magazine:

– Wake up at 6am and go to bed earliest at 10pm (most of the time is used to work
– Plenty of coordination (get the content written, get money from advertisers, plan meeting, check if everything goes smooth)
– Social life: show yourself all the time
– Hard task: do the right choices always, hey you are creating the fashion of tomorrow and all the things it will influence. (Did you know one year you pick up a color, the next year this color is used everywhere from a jumper to a bottle of detergent)
– Deal with a thousand idiots everyday
etc… etc…
It’s not an article i would need to describe all these responsibilities but a real novel!

  • Fashion events and bloggers

Likely fashion events with fashion bloggers tend to be absolutely hilarious. I remember of one of these fashion events in a super hype Amsterdam’s concept store. One girl from the bloggers community showed wearing a chair as a hat.  Yes a simple mini chair she matched with  a sarouel trousers, orange sneakers and a sweater and, and, and… A Chanel purse to make sure everyone is ensured of her financial wealth.

Oh yes!!!… You special girl, too cool to be elegant.

This was one of the biggest highlight.What I mean here is that many bloggers are too pretentious to stick to codes and dress codes because they perceive themselves as trend setters… Hum let me tell you something, only a very fews are and strangely these very fews are the most modest one who can stick to a dress code with fantasy and style!

  • The one who tells you ‘I have a blog because my sister lives 200 kilometers away

Hey I have a suggestion for you! Have you heard about email? You can privately send messages, pictures (even videos!!!!) to your sister (to your mother too I guess) without polluting the internet with your boring, uninteresting, lame life. Oh yes I was so excited to find out you bought a new pair of shoes at the market. Thank you very much for the 20 exhibition pictures in front of the entry of Lidl. A real change in fashion! And the new toys of your babies… I am speechless!

This is not a hate article against bloggers.

I want to point the incredible chance internet gave to the world. Thanks to the internet we had the chance to express ourselves about things that matter, about questions. The internet is an amazing tool to promote people, artists, designers, cooks, nurses, whomever does something great to make the world a better place…. The internet is a place where you can share things you learnt, how to do things, what exhibition should be checked etc… Internet redefined the notion of communication and journalism. However I think it is so sad a lot of people still use in the same way people go to TV shows to show their lives and just expect fame out of nothing.

Fame is not the end. Fame should not be a goal.

Fame should be a result and should only belong to the one who makes the world a better place.

Einstein deserves fame.

The guy who works at the social center at the corner and helps homeless and lost souls deserves fame.

You girl who posts 20 selfies a day on Instagram, you need an introduction to life realities.

Cheers,
The Minimalista

Copyright illustration So Blacktie