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Bitchy Weekly 50 Shades of Grey

For this new Bitchy Weekly 50 Shades of Grey!

Or let’s call it 50 shades of Regreyssion!

Everyone hates, everyone loves 50 Shades of Grey. 50 Shades of Grey is one of these terrifying modern master pieces. Master pieces not because of the literature quality but marketing masterpieces. Shit carried by genious and briliant marketing strategies that can turn any flat and boring essay into the next big thing. 

I tried to read 50 Shades of Grey, unfortunately I fall asleep before the 50th page and never woke up.

50 Shades of Grey hurts. Lilke a clitoris excision. I am serious!

The plot is both a modern and ancestra fairy tale. He’s rich, hot and powerful, while she is sky close to unsignificance and of course a virgin. I mean what woman is not a virgin in 2015 with the age of 22?

On stage all the clichés of a fairy tale, slightly spiced up with a twisted whip. She is pretty, naïve, sensitive and poor. He is rich, handsome, and evil. Or at least sexually twisted. Here it comes, the fantastic wet dreams of a horny 50 years old housewives who had her last orgasm in the mid 90’s. The plot is carried by a range of dialogues which are supposed to awake our desire.

I don’t make love, I fuck hard

Quote from the Lord of course.

This is the daily dream of middle class housewives made in 21st century: being on her knees, blowing a powerful man to whom they can be submitted happily ever after.

In the late 60’s Lou Reed celebrated the Femme Fatale, this free spirited accomplished woman, Madonna was a feminism icon when back to the 80’s she was screaming ‘Like a virgin touched for the very first time’. Samantha Jones was chain blowing back to the 90’s. What do women of the 21st century do? They virtually blow Christian Grey.

Where has the free spirited woman gone?

Sam Jones 50 shades of grey

Would 50 Shades of Grey be so successful if it was the perverted and nasty story of Tatania Grey, powerful business woman that would pick up a naive, hot and virgin 25 years Toy Boy?

Once upon a time, Tatianan a 30 years old, free spirited entrepreneur was living the life in the big apple. Rich and successful, she had an army of Toy Boys to play with in order to satisfy her unsatiable sexual appetite. She picked up Boris, a shy, poor as job Student and turns him into the object of her machiavelic lux and sexual appetize. Boris loses his entire humanity to become Tatiana’s boy toy. From sex group experiences to daily humiliations. Tatiana wears the trouser (as well as a plastic phallus). Boris believes in love while in multiple orgasms she trusts. The more, the merrier, Tatiana is the trashed up version of Samantha Jones.

If such a novel was published we could predict a third world war against these terrifying feminine figures. 50 Shades of Grey is a welcome back to the 1950’s and its worse aspects. Christian Grey incarnes the masculine figure every 21st century woman seems to want. Rich and powerful, the type that will rescue the poor and fragile creature we are.

In what way can 50 Shades of Grey be innovative when it actually revisits concepts, ideas and values we’ve been fighting against forever?

Cheers, 
The Minimalista

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